Women Leading Powerfully

I spent two days this week in a remote lodge in New Jersey with 14 women that I "knew" but didn't really "know" - and when the week began, I had no idea how life transforming those two days would be for me.
I attended a workshop called "Women Leading Powerfully" which was led by Sandy Sullivan from Guttman.  I was nominated by an alum of the workshop, and was honestly dreading going to the workshop.  I'd heard it was very "soft" and was told to "wear waterproof mascara and bring a box of tissues."  Terrifying...
While I can't go into detail right now about everything during those two days (or I'd have nothing left for future blogs!!) I learned about my personal brand - what is was and what it will be now.
Before the course, my brand was two words: Competent and Frustrated.  Going forward, my brand is Free and Confident...until I need to evolve my brand again and go down another path.
So why Competent and Frustrated?  Competent because I know my stuff.  I know it at work, and I know it at home. I was competent and completely uninspired. Frustrated because I'd lost that inspiration and passion.  And though work has been the source of my frustration, I didn't leave it there. It came home with me....every night.  And I was so frustrated and because of that, my husband became my wallpaper, and my son because the focus.  I ignored my husband. I walked in the house and paid more attention to the dog than I did to him. When we had alone time, I spent it on the computer or working on something that really could have waited.  I'm trying to figure out why he put up with it, and all I can come up with is that he is a patient and caring man, with the sensibilities of his mother, who loves me very much. And I ignored all of this; imagine if I'd never discovered that this boy who took me to Prom had become such an amazing man?
And why Free and Confident?  Confident because Competent isn't enough.  Confidence exudes more than just knowing everything, it shows real passion and caring in all decisions. Free is HUGE for me - the area where I had my biggest "AH HA!" moment. I've always taken a very specific career path. And looking back now, I know I made my decisions based on the "shoulds" without thinking about what I wanted.  As Sandy put it, I was "should-ing" all over myself.  And all of those "shoulds" have gotten me to a place where I felt trapped. Like I didn't own my decisions. Like I wasn't FREE.  But the truth is, I have the freedom to make those choices. It's my path. As I look back, I think that I felt that my freedom was gone after I had my son. Instead of working for my own pleasure and to meet what I thought were my goals, I thought I had to shift.  I had to start working for HIS medical benefits, for HIS diapers, and for HIS college savings.  Don't misinterpret what I'm saying...I didn't lose my freedom because of him....but when I could see my lack of freedom as the trigger of my frustration it was a wake up call.

So what does this mean?? 
Am I going to turn into a hippie chick and stop shaving my legs to be FREE?  No - I already push the time between legs shaving too far, not going to go any further.
Am I going to stop wearing my bra to be FREE?  No - I'd give myself a black eye every time I walk down the stairs. 
Am I going to quite my job? No - I have the freedom to make the choice to work, and I CHOOSE to be a working mother.
But I am going to FREE myself of my "shoulds" and my excuses.  I have my list of things to STOP and START.  I have a coach to keep me on track.  And I have an unbelievably supportive husband.
So tomorrow at 12:15pm, I am going take a step on my journey of Freedom....and I promise I'll tell you then, but for now I'm keeping you in suspense.

JWS