The Ultimate Throwdown: Daycare Teacher Gift Giving

I admit it:  I AM COMPETITIVE.  There, I said it.  Are you surprised?  Well, for anyone who knows me, I would be really surprised if that was a shocking revelation. Give me any contest or competition, regardless of the size of the prize, and I will show up ready to WIN.

But since enrolling my son in his daycare, I've come across a type of competition that had previously been foreign to me.  It's the heated, yet unspoken, competition among us parents to see who can give the teachers the best presents.  In fact, is it so underground, that I didn't know about this competition until I was sadly embarrassed by other parents during the Christmas of 2009. 

While I was recovering from that brutal beating, I was quickly thrown back down because I didn't realize that this gift giving craze applies to EVERY school occasion and holiday:  Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Valentine's Day, Halloween, Graduation, Teacher Appreciation WEEK, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years....and the list goes on and on.  I'm sure that you can imagine my surprise as I was carrying a child, bottles, sheets, and a stuffed backpack into my son's classroom on a windy March day, and came face to face with a very smug Supermom who had just dropped off St. Patrick's Day gifts for the classroom's teachers.  The bags alone must have taken her hours to make; hand decorated with cut-out shamrocks, ribbons, and just the right amount of glitter as to not look too tacky.  I could hear the oooo's and ahhhh's as the teachers opened the gifts that Martha Stewart herself would have been envious of.  I quickly dropped off my son and left with my head hung in defeat, vowing to myself that I would never be caught unarmed again.

I'm proud to say that I'm making a strong comeback and now I'm consistently in the running for the top gift.  In fact, I can even claim one victory.

Picture this:  Toddler 1 Graduation. April 2011. Some parents gave chocolates, others gave homemade cards complete with personalized toddler coloring, and of course the apple-for-teacher theme was very popular.  I took this one to an entirely new level, shocking the parental competition with my creativity and earning the virtual crown from the Best Gift pageant.  I traced Kevin's feet with black marker, and then we spent time coloring a set of feet together for each teacher.  I cut out the footprints, and sat down to put my poetry skills to work.  After three drafts, I was satisfied with my prose:

For the past year, I've kept you on your toes,

but I better teacher, I couldn't have chose.

I've learned my numbers, letters, and lots of new stuff.

Mommy, Daddy, and I can't thank you enough.

Now it's time for you to relax and take a seat,

and pamper your very tired feet.

And do this, I attached a gift certificate for each teacher to get a pedicure at my favorite local spa.   Ahhhh.....the taste of Victory!

Christmas 2010 gifts had a very cute theme for the younger teachers we had at the time.  I gave Philosophy's peppermint hand lotion, and hot cocoa lip gloss, with a peppermint bark dipped in chocolate.  It was a very cute presentation, wrapped in an hand-made, origami coffee mug.

I made a decent showing for Halloween this year, but I know it wasn't my best effort: Personalized orange, white, and black M&Ms wrapped in a Halloween themed embroidered hand towel.  Very cute, but no points for originality.

And even as I sit here and type this "confession" I really do wonder if this is just a competition between the parents, or if the teachers really do pick the "winner."  I'm 99.8% certain that the teachers don't play favorites with the kids based on the gifts they get....but just to cover the risk around that .2%, I'm starting to plan the Christmas gifts now!

I'm so proud of you....

As I was getting ready for work on Wednesday morning, my little man came up to me and hugged my legs.  He looked up at me and said "I so proud of you, Mommy."

It melted my heart.

And brought tears to my eyes.

Obviously we're using a lot of positive reinforcement with potty training (I get a round of applause every time I pee...), but it was the first time that Kevin gave me the praise that I've been giving him. 

And while it was the first time that he's ever said that back to me, it really did get me thinking.  How is it that my toddler is proud of me, and I am not satisfied?  My husband says it best:  "Johnna, you always have to keep moving on to something new.  New car. New house. New job.  Nothing is every good enough for you to just enjoy."  

Even so, it took a toddler to point it out to me.  I need to stop and reflect, so I can step back and look at everything that I've done in my career, my marriage, and as a mother....and just be PROUD of myself.

Bedtime Prayers

The highlight of my day is coming home to my family.  And at night, I love going through the bedtime routine with my baby. I know he won't be a baby forever, so this is 30 minutes that I am going to enjoy now, but sadly miss as he grows up. Bathtime, brushing his teeth, reading "Don't Cry, Big Bird," saying goodnight to Daddy, and his bedtime prayers...so honest and special that my heart just about bursts as I kiss him goodnight.

I started by teaching him to bow his head and fold his hands while I said the prayer just after his second birthday.  Since then, he has start repeating the last few words of every line, and now can say his short little prayer all by himself....followed by a loud and proud "AMEN."  We added some blessing to bedtime prayers too....and he goes through all of the special people in his life.  "God bless Kyla.  God bless Ju. God bless Mimi.  God bless Papa. God bless Grandpa.  God bless Grandma Stone.  God bless Macey."  Some nights he throws in a few extra people:  "God bless Rosie the dog.  God bless cousin Ben.  God bless Alex and his brother Matthew.  God bless Jenson."  Such a loving little man with a big heart. 

I believe in God, even though I know I don't get to church as much as I should.  And I pray for people, guidance, and causes.  But I wonder when I stopped being so honest with my prayers.  I look at my son, and I know that he has no filters when he prays - he says everything with an open heart - and I'm sad that I'm not like that.  When did I get so cynical and hardened?  Can I be more like him?
I wonder if I would be more faithful how it would impact the rest of my life.  Would I be a different person at work? With my family? Would I be a better wife and friend?  Would people look at me and see me as a shining example of the Lord?
And what's stopping me?  When did I stop saying my bedtime prayers every night?

Bravery and a pair of scissors

The Googled Choice

In a moment of unusual bravery, I decided it was time to get a new hairstyle.  Don’t worry if you remember my January posting…I’m still keeping the curls…but it was time to revisit the length.  So where does any self-respecting, hair adventurist turn for ideas on hairstyles??? GOOGLE!  I walked into my salon with a wish and a photo.





After a touch up on my roots from Jade (my favorite hair stylist at Depasquale), I sat in the chair and watched inches of my hair fall to the floor with every snip of the scissors.  After twenty minutes of cutting and styling (and suppressing myself from screaming at Jade to stop) my new haircut was ready for my big reveal.   I saw myself in the mirror and I HATED it!  It was way too short for the shape of my face, and didn’t have the volume I was looking for. 

I went in the door and the first thing that my husband said to me was “What the hell did you do to your hair??”  And then my toddler just pointed at my head.  AWESOME. That wasn’t what I was going for!!  Although it did validate my own opinion!!  A shower and my own styling techniques later (anyone with curly hair will understand that the hairstylist never really knows how to make it work at a salon), I thought the cut looked a little better.  Now, after one week, I will admit that my new haircut has grown on me (hahahaha!).  Even better, it takes less time to style, and is certainly more environmentally friendly since I don’t have to use a gallon of hairspray every day.

So…realizing that I am putting myself out there in blog-land, I am posting a picture of the new do…with the request for only positive feedback…even if you have to lie to me!!   (This is accompanied with a request for forgiveness....realizing that a self portrait with my mobile phone puts in an uncomfortable category with teenagers on MySpace.)

The New Do

Fear of Flying

With a job that requires that requires me to travel, it’s hard to believe that I still get nervous about getting on an airplane.  And I will admit that it has gotten worse since my son was born.  I don’t know if it feels like I have so much more to lose now (not that I didn’t value my husband and family before), or that I can’t even think of my baby growing up without me. Although I do realize that financially, I’m worth more dead than alive thanks to a great life insurance policy!!  (This is something I don’t advertise to my husband!!)

My first international flight was eight months after my son was born.  It was a trip to Brussels for work, and I had a panic attack on the plane.  I remember sitting on my seat on that plane in Newark, awaiting take-off, and my palms were actually sweating.  It’s not an expression – it actually happens!  I felt dizzy and had to work really hard to breath.  If I could have gotten out of my seat and run to the door, I would have, but I had an irrational fear of being tackled by an air marshall – plus my legs would move.  All I could do was sit there and recite the Lord’s Prayer.  

I’ve flown around the US a lot (and even done flights alone with my toddler!), but there was something about going over water that makes me extremely nervous.  If there are engine problems on a plane from Newark to Chicago, the plane could lane at another airport.  But if we’re over the Atlantic Ocean, then we’re going down.    

But I like numbers and facts, so I did some research.   Did you know that according to the US government, 95.7 percent of the passengers involved in aviation accidents make it out alive?  That's right. When the National Transportation Safety Board studied accidents between 1983 and 2000 involving 53,487 passengers, they found that 51,207 survived. That's 95.7 percent. When you exclude crashes in which no one had a chance of surviving - like Pan Am 103 - the NTSB says the survival rate in the most serious crashes is 76.6 percent. In other words, if your plane crashes, you aren't necessarily doomed, just like the passengers on US Air 1549 in the Hudson.

All this is somewhat comforting. But you know what?  Tomorrow morning on my flight from London Heathrow to Newark, I will still be saying the Lord’s Prayer before we take off.

Today I could have conquered the world

Confidence exuded today.  Not just competency, but complete confidence in content during a critical presentation to senior level managers at work.  I knew it went well when a VP gave me the "fist bump" in the middle of my presentation, and closed by asking me what I would do next once I fixed everything. Not the most exciting subject matter, but it was a great feeling that gave me a "high" that lasted all day.

Free from all of my hair....

Today I treated myself to a cut and color (yes, I need the color to cover up my *gulp* grey hair) at Depasquale.  Any girls from NJ will know how fabulous teh Depasquale trips are!
And I lost more than 8 inches of hair. 
It's a step in my Freedom transformation.  For at least 4 years now, I have been straightening my naturally curly hair for work.  That's an extra 40 minutes a day to pull out all of my curls with a hair dryer and then flat iron it to smooth it.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?  Well, I thought I "should" have straight hair to look like a professional, and it "should" be brown with blond highlights.  No more - I have dark brown hair (closer to my natural color) that will be short and curly.  I love my new look - and I love that I now have 40 minutes in the morning to spend on the treadmill. Free from a "should" and free from an excuse not to exercise.  
Now I am wondering....what's next?!?!

EMJ's

EMJ's = Extreme Moments of Joy

Those moments in my life when happiness and contentment is overwhelming. 

Tonight I had an EMJ, as my son and I sat at one end of the hallway and my husband sat at the other and we let race cars fly down the hallway.  So much fun and such joy!

Women Leading Powerfully

I spent two days this week in a remote lodge in New Jersey with 14 women that I "knew" but didn't really "know" - and when the week began, I had no idea how life transforming those two days would be for me.
I attended a workshop called "Women Leading Powerfully" which was led by Sandy Sullivan from Guttman.  I was nominated by an alum of the workshop, and was honestly dreading going to the workshop.  I'd heard it was very "soft" and was told to "wear waterproof mascara and bring a box of tissues."  Terrifying...
While I can't go into detail right now about everything during those two days (or I'd have nothing left for future blogs!!) I learned about my personal brand - what is was and what it will be now.
Before the course, my brand was two words: Competent and Frustrated.  Going forward, my brand is Free and Confident...until I need to evolve my brand again and go down another path.
So why Competent and Frustrated?  Competent because I know my stuff.  I know it at work, and I know it at home. I was competent and completely uninspired. Frustrated because I'd lost that inspiration and passion.  And though work has been the source of my frustration, I didn't leave it there. It came home with me....every night.  And I was so frustrated and because of that, my husband became my wallpaper, and my son because the focus.  I ignored my husband. I walked in the house and paid more attention to the dog than I did to him. When we had alone time, I spent it on the computer or working on something that really could have waited.  I'm trying to figure out why he put up with it, and all I can come up with is that he is a patient and caring man, with the sensibilities of his mother, who loves me very much. And I ignored all of this; imagine if I'd never discovered that this boy who took me to Prom had become such an amazing man?
And why Free and Confident?  Confident because Competent isn't enough.  Confidence exudes more than just knowing everything, it shows real passion and caring in all decisions. Free is HUGE for me - the area where I had my biggest "AH HA!" moment. I've always taken a very specific career path. And looking back now, I know I made my decisions based on the "shoulds" without thinking about what I wanted.  As Sandy put it, I was "should-ing" all over myself.  And all of those "shoulds" have gotten me to a place where I felt trapped. Like I didn't own my decisions. Like I wasn't FREE.  But the truth is, I have the freedom to make those choices. It's my path. As I look back, I think that I felt that my freedom was gone after I had my son. Instead of working for my own pleasure and to meet what I thought were my goals, I thought I had to shift.  I had to start working for HIS medical benefits, for HIS diapers, and for HIS college savings.  Don't misinterpret what I'm saying...I didn't lose my freedom because of him....but when I could see my lack of freedom as the trigger of my frustration it was a wake up call.

So what does this mean?? 
Am I going to turn into a hippie chick and stop shaving my legs to be FREE?  No - I already push the time between legs shaving too far, not going to go any further.
Am I going to stop wearing my bra to be FREE?  No - I'd give myself a black eye every time I walk down the stairs. 
Am I going to quite my job? No - I have the freedom to make the choice to work, and I CHOOSE to be a working mother.
But I am going to FREE myself of my "shoulds" and my excuses.  I have my list of things to STOP and START.  I have a coach to keep me on track.  And I have an unbelievably supportive husband.
So tomorrow at 12:15pm, I am going take a step on my journey of Freedom....and I promise I'll tell you then, but for now I'm keeping you in suspense.

JWS

The Transformation Begins

To all my friends -
This is my 2nd attempt at blogging, and this time I'm committed to making it happen. No, I don't have more time, nor have I developed a deep passion for writing...but I'm working it into my personal tranformation plan.  Even if nobody reads this, I believe that writing it will help keep me in track and be an outlet for me to just put down everything that is on my mind.  My ideal would be that someday my son will see this, and he will be able to de-code me and see how every action is influenced by him.

And IF I happen to get any loyal followers, and you don't see any posts from me, PLEASE KEEP ME ON TRACK!

Johnna